1: What would you name your future daughter?

I recently rediscovered that I wrote “Safie Marie and Hartley James <3” on one of my lit textbook pages, meaning I am a weirdo and I really like romantic-gothic lit names. 

2: Do you miss anyone?

Only people that live approx. 600 miles away… . . … . . …… 

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I’d be like “nah” and then you’d be like “yeah!” and I’d be like “nah” and you’d be like “YEAH!” and I’d be like “alright.”

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

In so many words, sure, but we ALL KNOW THAT GAME

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

Seeing Max and Michele for the last time, living the hellhole that is New Brunswick, getting a call back about a jerb (so long as it’s positive), and beer.

6: Did you go out or stay in last night?

I SORT OF went out with my brother and his boyfriend but it was to a bar in Montclair and they only blasted the oldies so I just sat at a table drinking Smithwicks and feeling my ears bleed.

7: How late did you stay up last night?

Lateish. There was a diner excursion after the bar.

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

I’ve grown fearless at 65 Plum

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

Waking up for the day and realizing my mom had gotten me coffee for a morning wake up (3 hours ago).

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

Does it count if it was over AIM?

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

"I’m not drinking tonight, you guys." 

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

Lol, I mean, I would say I started out liking the person first and then it would morph into a weird thing. One person in particular stands out in my mind because he was sweet but he also looked like an emaciated anime character whose house smelled like equal parts vomit and old pizza rolls. The pretending didn’t have to go on very long.

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

YEAH MAN every time I smoke a cigarette I feel like a weenie

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Sealy <3 

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

It used to be, but it’s become increasingly easier and that worries me to some degree.

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

*scratches ass and belches while putting a cigarette out in my ear * HONEY I BEEN SINGLE FOR 5 YEARS AINT NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT *snorts snot, leans sideways in seat to let out a fart*

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

I think any emotion more intense than “contented” or “slightly frustrated” goes immediately to ::::::CRY::::::::

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

with danger HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. no.

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

on my front stoop.

20: Who did you last see in person?

my dad before he went to bed

21: What is the last thing you said out loud?

"wow I can’t believe I actually figured this out" - me, about setting up the home printer to print wirelessly.

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

this is a thing called four loko. <— I’m going to agree with this and leave it here.

23: Have you ever been to Paris?

YO ONE DAY YO

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I LIKE TO THINK SO, but everyone’s like “psst c’mon. I KNOW.”

25: Do you use chap stick?

Too much. I’m up to three chap sticks a day.

26: Who did you last share a bed with?

Lauryn at her Boston abode

27: Are you listening to music right now?

Nope it’s too late for muzak at my Garvey home.

28: What is something you currently want right now?

To know where I’m going to be at the end of this week.

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

I don’t believe so, but almost.

30: How is your heart lately?

Relatively full with my own endeavors

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

i first read this as, “do you fear the hood on your hoodie,” which i would have answered with something pseudo-intellectual, but no, i do not wear the hood on hoodies because hoodies generally form a point on the top of my head which makes me look like a cone-head and i can’t have that.

ALSO WUTEVER

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

Dads and bros don’t count ya’ll feel me

33: What do people call you?

Vicky, but everyone should really just call me “the Vicksta” because one  of my life goals is to be dubbed by an article.

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

Hey, you’ve just found the title of my first memoir! 

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

Y. But, w/e.

36: What are you listening to right now?

My dad waking up, grunting on the way to the b-room, piddling, return to bed-cave.

37: What is wrong with you right now?

It wouldn’t be worth my time or yours to consider this question seriously.

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

until it breaks you (this sounds like an unreleased taking back sunday b-side). <——- I JUST WANT 2 BRING U DOWN SO BADLY (in.the.worst.way), WORST WAAAYYY

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

nah soda can tabs man, that’s like TOTALLY legit.

40: What is on your wrists right now?

Sleeves.

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

i am single in the sense that i am one individual body. i have not been taken by liam nieeson’s greatest foes. heartbreak is perpetual, which yes, is confusing. and i don’t wait for the unexpected. i expect it.

Sarah your answers are like too good I can’t top this.

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

Hugh and I went SHOPPINGGGGGG like 6 years ago and I *splurged* on this stupid polo long sleeve shirt from J. Crew that has been relegated to Sleep Shirt category only. A $50 sleep shirt.

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Only the ones I can’t remember (ooooh dark) (like literally dark though I couldn’t see anything).

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

I hugged my family a lot today but otherwise I hugged my friends when we left Boston, WOW! This was a very huggy week!

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

Yo these things are designed for 6th graders who are like “SIGH no, BUT maybe THIS weeEKnd SOMEONE will…………..?????»>~~~~!!!!”

46: What were you doing at midnight last night?

Oogling at post-grads in a Montclair bar

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

Ehh, I think things are better now than they were then.

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Depends on comfort because like c’mon twin beds I aint sleepin wit you if you sweatin.

49: Have you ever been to New York?

Piss Capital of USA!

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

DOES FOOD COUNT

1: What would you name your future daughter?

ugh babies. but probably june or anna.

2: Do you miss anyone?

vicky, matt, dayflo, my family but mostly my little brother.

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

WHAT IF? I AM PRETTY.

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

who cares, it’s usually never me anyway.

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

prep shifts, waffle sundays, glocca morra/luther/keeler and pregames with eli, thinking of cool dinners to make, grammar retention, finishing lit and starting another book.

6: Did you go out or stay in last night?

i stayed in because i thought i had work today, and when i went into work today i didn’t have work today.

7: How late did you stay up last night?

i went to bed at like 10:30

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

sure uh brian and vicky.

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

copying keys, getting a library card, and getting food at the co-op.

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

no surprisingly i have not.

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

i sold my soul to gin when i was 19.

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

these things go on far longer than they should and don’t tell anyone about your personality.

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

i wanna die with a pall mall in-hand.

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yes but it’s not jon bowers.

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

i’ve got two lungs and a stomach. it’s hard for me to get over myself.

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

i was alone, in love, and too afraid to say it.

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

this is called adolescence. 

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

hands-in-pockets is a thing i’ve mastered living here, though i’m sure brian and i have braved the cold at some point recently.

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

no, brian kissed me goodbye in the couch void.

20: Who did you last see in person?

adam

21: What is the last thing you said out loud?

"he went to work."

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

this is a thing called four loko.

23: Have you ever been to Paris?

always in my mind.

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

this is a thing called being sarah e. pace.

25: Do you use chap stick?

whole-heartedly, which is to say not half-heartedly or, “one-lipping it” which could be an innuendo if i were doubly smart.

26: Who did you last share a bed with?

B, though i imagine he wants to start sleeping alone, although it’s not too shabby waking up next to somebody who keeps you warm at night.

27: Are you listening to music right now?

CAKE because i have mediocre taste today.

28: What is something you currently want right now?

to be at work so that i don’t spend money on things and don’t have to walk home to do things i don’t want to do.

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

who would even care if they weren’t?

30: How is your heart lately?

i stopped pumping caffeine into me when i stopped drinking soda so i assume it’s recovering, though it’s probably also weaker than it should be because chain smoking kills.

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

i first read this as, “do you fear the hood on your hoodie,” which i would have answered with something pseudo-intellectual, but no, i do not wear the hood on hoodies because hoodies generally form a point on the top of my head which makes me look like a cone-head and i can’t have that.

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

ugh TODAY.

33: What do people call you?

mostly sarah, and mostly pace. sometimes my bosses like to give me nicknames like, “champ”, “junior”, or “shithead”. i get pacey a lot. tim riggins was runner-up for best nickname, second to “dweebus” and “leroy” which are names my family has bestowed upon me regarding my tendency to be a complete idiot.

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

yesterday a woman wanted onions on her caesar salad after complaining about how the salad she wanted and ordered wasn’t actually the salad she REALLY wanted, so i threw a shit ton of onions on it for so anyone she came into contact with later that day would experience Breath Shudder. additionally, i want to tell kim that she’s a piece of shit and should stick her head into a vat of oil instead of becoming a GM in CT. 

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

yeah, i don’t live in san francisco or own a dog.

36: What are you listening to right now?

this question was asked before and the author of this survey is insurmountably ignorant.

37: What is wrong with you right now?

i’m an unpublished 22 year old with very little to her name.

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

until it breaks you (this sounds like an unreleased taking back sunday b-side).

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

i don’t look at a clock for 12 hours a day.

40: What is on your wrists right now?

hives i can’t get rid of.

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

i am single in the sense that i am one individual body. i have not been taken by liam nieeson’s greatest foes. heartbreak is perpetual, which yes, is confusing. and i don’t wait for the unexpected. i expect it.

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

from declan’s show at the bug jar.

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

see: four loko.

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

jesus christ himself.

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

redundant.

46: What were you doing at midnight last night?

i was asleep as shit.

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

not at fucking all. 

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

someone else is preferable.

49: Have you ever been to New York?

i live in new york.

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

i have my doubts, which i choose to ignore, but for now i think he does. 

bbook:

‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Star Adrianne Palicki Reveals Her Passion for Comics and Pogs

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA TIM RIGGINS

bbook:

‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Star Adrianne Palicki Reveals Her Passion for Comics and Pogs

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA TIM RIGGINS

fuckyeahdementia:

cats can be jerks

sarah dont let ulysses watch this

(Source: youtu.be)

dear vick,

it’s super weird waking up in my own room, especially when i have no one to look up at or check on to make sure they’re awake and at work before 7am. brian’s a good pseudo-roommate, and becca has been awesome. but it doesn’t take away from the fact that moving is weird, and moving far away from you in the hands of C and S wasn’t the ideal way of doing it. sacrifices. they hate the snow. 

yesterday i filled out paperwork at panera and now i officially work there. i have a hat. becca and this lovely girl Cat whom i met yesterday are making me wear brian’s employee-of-the-month shirt on my first day. it has a panera bread logo on one side and his name on the other. part of me thinks this is a shaky way to start a job; who wants to be known as somebody’s girlfriend rather than just sarah or pacey or pace or LIL P? but the other half of me knows that’s what it’s going to be like for a little while. i’m encroaching on fundamental friendships that have been forming for years before anyone here ever heard my name. it’s not a lonely feeling, but a shuffled way to introduce yourself. “hi, i’m sarah. i moved here from new jersey after a very painful five years of struggling, and i moved here because i’m in love with somebody who makes this shit a little bit easier to handle. his name is brian.” i’ve memorized the few excuses i came up with on the uhaul-ride up here that i feel somehow summarize what brought me upstate. delving into it is of no interest to anyone but my notebook.

there were two hours when i was frozen solid to the van floor and colin and steve were listening to frank ocean so i put my headphones on and made a playlist of all of our songs, or at least the songs that tend to stabilize my head after doing something with a grain of finality to it. i’m sorry you cried, i’m sorry i didn’t cry enough, i’m sorry we spent a few years building up to this point only to have it end on a sidewalk in our provincial hometown. consider ourselves two magnet’s coils.

i already feel a disconnect between here and there, but it doesn’t involve you. i’m sure frank has given everyone at plum some shit story about how i’m the worst, but how can i care about a man who wants nothing but furthered struggle for a girl who has worked tirelessly to make ends meet? i wanted to say something better to you when we were talking about it on the way to the van, but maybe it’s something you’ll only understand through particular experiences. don’t let anyone take advantage of you just because. leave if you have to. let yourself appear weak to the people you want to love. ball your fists when you walk. create an air of empathy and strength in every room you own. 

there are so many things here that i want you to see. but there are so many things everywhere else that you should see first, because you’ve earned and deserve it. make your way up here when you can, but don’t forget to study hard and make nick happy while he’s still holdin’ on for dear life. stay pretty.

forever,

pacey.

dear sarah,

it’s very quiet in this room. i’m typing so i can hear something other than the pipes banging and cars passing idly. today came too fast, one that didn’t have the appropriate send off i think you deserved. we knew you’d be trapped between two well-intentioned albeit misguided boys who see this trip as an excuse to smoke weed and eat mini-powdered doughnuts. when i put my hand against the glass today and waved goodbye, it was the hardest thing i’ve had to do in a very long time. 

i do feel like we spent the last few days of your consecutive life in new jersey the best way possible, though. i was telling buist as we walked back to the house that this week was a dream, a literal pause in between what we suffered and what we knew was going to be a new, shaky beginning. i miss you, and i will be as okay as i make my mind up to be. we are going to be fine. i’m sure as hell not worried about DAT CAUSE AINT NO BODAY GOT TIME FAW THAT. i can’t wait to reread this in a month/year’s time and cringe at how badly i just dated myself. memes ugh.

i’ve already written some stuff down in our book and i will send it to you as soon as possible.

"see you later," as we pen the first chapter entitled: Pacey Goes To Rochester

-Vicky

(Source: avid, via heydaveheydave)

dear vicky,

i’m sorry i don’t write in all-caps. it’s been something i’ve been trying to figure out for the better part of a severely wasted young-adulthood. i’d like to assume it’s just a matter of grammar not being able to keep up with me.

remember how i used to talk about leaving like it was some grand gesture toward being successful or “getting over it” that i wanted so bad but felt would never come? well, i guess i have somewhere around 9 days left as a resident of your homestate, a place that never belonged to me surrounded by people i never felt fit. maybe i’ll struggle to find a home in the same ways you struggle to keep yours in balance, or maybe i’ll learn through a 400-mile sprint north that home is just the people you sleep in the same house with at any given moment. 

that was a good night. remember the other seaside night where we drank four double gin & tonics at Hooks and i yelled at a cop and then we fought in a parking lot? or all the times we sat around that table in the back of high st. drinking beer and falling over people? plus everything else, all of the time, which happens so much.

i hope you come to visit me when i get settled in, because as much as i hate new jersey and its immediate surroundings, i can’t ever hate you. i’m sorry i’m leaving in what feels like negative time, but we’ll make the most of it. and then hey, you’ll graduate and do great things, and i’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines, beer in hand.

forevereva,

pacey

dear sarah,

you’re coming home tomorrow! i’m so excited i’ve been wiggling my toes for the better part of 45 minutes while simultaneously readjusting my eyebrows in 4/4 time. can you picture it? good. think of this image forever before you go to bed at night. 

i’m sitting on gil’s shitty corduroy couch and listening to nick drake. i love that picture of us vvvv down below vvvv. no one knows that i have a hickey on my lip in that picture and that we all ran to the ocean as soon as mat kiley’s band won that contest. that was a fun night.

i’m going to help you pack and get all your stuff together this week when you’re back as much as i can. i hope we uncover more things that we’ve tucked away, not on purpose but through the general business of every day life. and then we’ll sit on this same couch with my floral comforter, high as lil kites watching a TV Programe that we’ve probably seen before.

i love you, and i’ll see you soon.

Vicky

~thanks for the memories

~thanks for the memories